out with crazy, in with balance

Hello Blog. It's feels like forever since I last posted. But things here have been super crazy busy. I quite honestly have not had the time to even sign onto Blogger. Allow me to share my madness...

Work...I'm sure I sound like a broken record by now but my job sucks. Plain and simple. The joy has gone, my spirit broken. I can no longer look at the bright side because the light has dimmed to nothing. I love my students and I love making a difference in their lives but the administration in my particular section has cast a huge dark shadow over the most important part of our jobs, teaching. After six years, I've come to a conclusion, "sometimes we need to think not of where we're going but of what we must leave behind". I'm not sure what my next step will be at this exact moment (I do have a few ideas up my sleeve) but one thing is for sure, I must leave my current job. It's affecting me in very negative ways and rather than let it control me, I want to control the situation by leaving and moving on.

Home...We have finally finished our remodeling...YAY! BUT, there are still little things that need to be done (that seem to add up to be big things). I'm VERY frustrated to say the least. The major stuff is complete but it's the small things that make it home. I'm tired and exhausted from going out and looking for furniture, curtains and pillows. I haven't even been able to think about the decor because I want to save that for after the furniture. I still want to go with my purple and green theme but for some reason no one seems to carry the shade of purple that I want. Perhaps I'm too picky, but after all this time I have the right to be. I fell in love with one living room set but it was out of our budget. With the remodeling costs, buying a new car, laptop, and our upcoming summer trip it's just not logical at this time. So I settled for an Ikea sofa. Maybe within a few months I can get my dream set. I'm willing to make some compromises in order to have a complete home again. Our other problem is time. With my above mentioned job and hubby's long hours it's so difficult to get out and do the things that need to be done. And of course men don't get it. As long as they have something to sit on, a laptop, TV, and food to eat they're good to go. But we women understand that a home needs to feel warm and cozy and visually pleasing...so I want to rush to get things done, and hubby is content with taking as much time as needed. Grrr!

Health...I had a little health scare recently. I was having some different feelings around my heart and went to see a Dr. With my complaints and family history the Dr. wanted to do a few things to check out my heart; ECG, echo, and 24-hour holtor monitor. Thank God everything is okay and the feelings are almost gone. My Dr. said it's most likely muscular and stress...hmmmm...stress, wonder where that is from? Another good reason to change the job situation.

Lack of sleep...I just don't get enough. I know most people can say the same. But WHY? Why do we do that to ourselves? Sleep is vital. The average adult needs 7-8 hrs a night. Seven to eight???...That's a dream for me. There is just not enough time in a day. And for me personally, I spend most of my time on work stuff. It's not good enough that I work full time everyday...no, I have to spend another 2-3 hours at home everyday too. And what schools fail to realize is that we teachers are mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives. We have lives outside of work. We do not have to live and breathe work 24/7. We need time to live life. And time for sleep.

So, here I am ranting and raving...I'm sure this post is quite depressing but gosh it feels good to get it all out. Have no fear though, I'm working on some ways to find balance and maybe even some relaxation time. I do have a week vacation in about 3 weeks so I'm really looking forward to that. I'm planning to catch up on some things, organize and maybe even take a little family trip.

And if all of that doesn't help, going on summer vacation will, which is just a little over 3 months away. I can't wait to go to the US with hubby and little guy. We'll be visiting my family and also taking some mini vacations along the way. My favorite thing planned so far? A much needed trip to the beach...

It'll make waiting for my dream living room set all worth it! ;)