self image

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I'm sure that most women reading this have no problem thinking of something. Sadly, the difficulty is probably finding only one thing. Why is it that we, as women, are so uncomfortable in our own skin? In a recent social observation I saw a huge difference in self-confidence between men and women. I was waiting in the car with my son as my husband ran into the travel agent's office. This particular office has huge mirror-like windows. As I watched people walking by these windows, I did not see even one man look at his reflection. However, every single woman did. Not only that, it wasn't like a fun look into the mirror, it was a "do I look okay" kind of look. The crazy part is that there were about 3 times more men walking by than women during those 20 minutes.

Why do we feel so much pressure to look perfect? What is "perfect" anyway? If we go by today's standards and the pressure from Hollywood, "perfect" is something like this:

This poor girl that I'm picking on because her picture was the first I came across in my runway model search is healthy-looking compared to many runway models today.

Is this even realistic? For those of us living in the real world, we know it is not. Sure, give me loads of cash and I too can afford a dietitian, a personal trainer (maybe even two), a GREAT plastic surgeon, and an even greater photo shop expert for all my photos. This is just not realistic, girls. And any woman who has ever been pregnant knows that the body is just never quite the same afterwards. Things seem to sag, stretch marks do appear, and cellulite is a nasty enemy who just won't go away. So when Britany Spears appeared on TV after having a baby (actually she had two, VERY close together, God bless her), why did people talk about her gaining weight? Here they said she weighed, omg, get ready...about 135 lbs:

What? As if 135 lbs is a horrible thing? Are you kidding me? She was pregnant people! And even if she hadn't been, 135 lbs is not FAT!

Let's move onto Nicole Richie. When she first came into the public eye with her then bff Paris Hilton, people criticized her for being a bit chubby. The girl was not chubby at all. I mean no disrespect, but anyone standing next to Paris Hilton is going to instantly gain about 20 lbs. So then our poor Nicole begins to lose weight, at an alarming rate I might add. Here was the result of that crash diet:

This poor little girl makes me sad. And on top of all of that, people criticized that she was too skinny. Are you joking people? You just said she was chubby, now she's too skinny? Will you ever be happy? And why does she/do we care??? Nicole lost so much weight that there was talk of her having to gain at least 40 lbs in her pregnancy just to be able to feed and nourish her baby.

What happened to that old Hollywood glamour? Their standards were much more realistic. Look at the famous Marilyn Monroe:

Notice how she actually has hips and curves to her body? This is how a woman was made to be. I personally think it's a lot more beautiful than stick figures.

We could take a look even deeper into history and how people defined beauty. Check out this drawing by Raphael:

She certainly has curves, and yet her pose suggests such self confidence that I can't help but feel somewhat inspired. You can tell that she feels so beautiful here.

I don't want to sound insensitive to our naturally thin friends. I know that some girls are lucky enough not to have to worry about weight. As a matter of fact, I've had many friends who have tried to gain weight and wish they had curves. For these girls, I mean no disrespect. But there is a totally unrealistic standard set for girls today. This standard has contributed to eating disorders, distorted body images, and many other things.

When I recently checked out dovecampaignforrealbeauty.com I read some alarming statistics:

• 7 out of 10 girls believe they aren't good enough or don't measure up in some way
• 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities
• 57% of girls have a mother who critizes her own looks
• more than 1/3 (34%) of girls with low self-esteem believe that they are not a good enough daughter

National Statistics in the US according to Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty

The time is NOW to change our self image. The time is NOW to believe that you were created beautiful. How dare we let anyone convince, or even let us doubt otherwise.

So ladies, let's all take a big long look in the mirror and find the things that we love about ourselves. Stop worrying what the standards of beauty are, instead embrace the beauty that you've been given! ;-)

*pictures taken from wikipedia.com and caringonline.com